Monday, July 5, 2010

lub dup, lub dup, lub dup...

My heart beats for the nations. I always knew I loved the children of the world, but Haiti really revealed to me that I quite literally can not survive without being able to love on the people who are enveloped by injustice and don't know the love of the Father. It's like I'm not truly alive until there is a pile of children on my lap. It's like in Matthew 10:39,
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." I think it's when I'm overseas and have lost my "life," comforts, normalcy, etc; it's then that I find His life for me.

Kim Walker sings a song called, "Can I Have
More of You?
" One verse says: "God I need You right next to me for my heart to be satisfied." My heart is completely satisfied with children in my arms. I believe God is next to me in those moments. It's as if Jesus is sitting in my lap. He's that close to me. His hands touch my face and He gazes into my eyes. Maybe physically it appears to be a little child, but for me spiritually, it's Jesus.

While I was in Haiti, I wrote this in a letter to one of my best friends':
"As I walked back to see the tents that they sleep in [the children at an orphanage], a sweet little boy took me by the hand. It's moments like that, that I
live for. They would just wrap their arms around me, so hungry for love, and I'm so lovesick to give it to them. You know, sometimes I feel like I suck at the theological crap, but gosh has the Lord taught me to love. I may be lousy at meeting with the Lord sometimes, but holding those kids, it's like wrapping my arms around Jesus. There is nothing like it. You're like enveloped with peace and love and hope. It's so beautiful..."

I breathe in and out Holy Spirit.
My DNA screams Jesus.
The blood running through my veins knows the blood that dripped down the Cross.
But my heart, my heart beats for the nations.

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