Friday, December 2, 2011


Recently I've developed this idea in my head that I want to be rebellious.  It occurred to me that sin sounds fun.  So I started taking actions to be "rebellious."  Not anything too extreme, but non-the-less, rebellious.  

I started feeling very guilty about it, because I know I'm better than the things I was doing.  If for no other reason, it was unhealthy.  

I was talking to my good friend about the mistakes I had been making and how I wanted to sin, then almost out of no where, I said to him that my life is always going to be messy because I want nothing more than to be with the messed up.  I went on to list all of these things that my heart is crying out to do.  Then a few hours later I watched this incredible sermon another friend was teaching.  It rocked my world.  I'm not going to go in detail, I would rather just encourage you to watch it, but it talked about being a new creation.  The thing about this guy is that he makes his teaching practical and tells you how to live it.  He literally used a diagram and gives so many illustrations that it's almost impossible to not understand the message.  He literally talked about how sometimes Christians get the idea that it would be fun/enjoyable to sin.  Or how other Christians just feel like because they struggled with it before Christ, they always will struggle with it.  He explained the concept of becoming a new creation, then how to renew your mind.  To watch his video, click HERE.  To read an article of his on renewing your mind, click HERE.

His video really brought me full circle.  I saw that my mind was being deceived that I wanted to sin.  I remembered what I told my other friend about wanting to devote my life to messy people.  I realized my heart knows who I am.  That I am a new creation.  However my mind was trying to convince me that although I was a new creation, my actions still would reflect my old nature.  False.  My actions will reflect my new nature.  I just have to train my mind to remember who I am in Christ.  I am hidden in Him and I shall not forget again.  I have the Hebrew word "zakar" tattooed on my wrist, which means "to remember."  You'd think I would have gotten the hang of it by now...  

I'm thankful for grace.  

I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me, even when I hurt Him and run from Him.  

I'm thankful that I am a new creation with a heart of holiness.

Feel free to take a glimpse into my heart, into my Fathers heart...  

(I wrote this a few minutes ago into a message to my friend who preached the new creation sermon)
My heart just desires to be sitting on the dirt floors of brothels brushing the hair of a girl as she prepares herself for her night at "work," selling her body to numerous men, I want to be there, loving her out of her bondage and into the freedom that comes from knowing Jesus. I want to go into villages that have been cursed so that no baby will make it out of her mothers womb because girls are disposable, and I want to speak life over the women and tell them about a God who values them, a God who created them in His image. I want to touch lepers and see their rotted limbs turn new. I want to sing orphans to sleep and have them tell me about the dreams they have of this big Papa who dances with them in the moonlight.


  1. Casey,
    I'm glad I got to see you, even just briefly. I'm thankful to be following along on your journey (even if from afar and only through the blog!). My prayer for you today is that you won't be so distracted by what you can do for God tomorrow, next year, in India (etc) that you miss what you can do for God HERE and NOW.
    Merry Christmas to you!

  2. Casey,
    I found your comment on my blog and it encouraged my heart so much! (I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond...things have been running at whirlwind pace as my team prepares to go to India). Your heart is beautiful and I have loved reading your last few blog posts. Especially the note at the end of this post. It echoes the cry of my heart and the reason that I am going back to the brothels of India. There is no way to really describe the way that my heart aches to be there, but your words beautifully sum it up.
    You asked me where I worked in India, and it seems we were in the same area. I worked in a drop-in-center for children in Kamathipura and spent the entire month working in Mumbai. My heart is definitely still in that area, and as the India Initiative team is working on our decision as to our location, we all have a heart to return to Mumbai.
    Thank you so much for your prayers! You can keep up with what my team is doing at our team blog: I would love to talk to you more sometime about your work in the red light districts and what the Lord has you doing now. Are you planning to return to India in the future? My e-mail address is if you ever want to chat. Blessings to you my sister!