Saturday, December 24, 2011


This semester was rough.  Over the last couple days as I spend ample amount of time with the Lord, He has been showing me an overarching theme.  

Do not let your heart envy sinners.

This semester, I spent a lot of time envying sinners.  I spent too much time daydreaming of being rebellious.  I decided in my heart that Christianity wasn't very fun.  That following Jesus was hard work and not enjoyable.  I never stopped wanting to follow Jesus, but I just wanted to take a break from the whole idea of holiness and go crazy for a bit.  

I didn't really "go crazy," but I did sin.  I don't think I have it in me to "go crazy."  Christ is just too strong in me and I'm too submitted to His will, though I can trail away a bit.  I truly did spend the semester with my heart envying sinners.  

Then instead of my Papa smacking me into submission, He's gently covered me with sweet kisses.  How can I envy sinners when I have such a great Papa?!  

My heart has completely returned to Him, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords.  I am abundantly blessed and joyous.  What a beautiful picture of the Father's love.  I was running from Him.  Instead of Him throwing rocks at me to knock me on my face bleeding, crying out for help, He led a vibrant man of God into my life, to treat me like a princess and show me pure joy.  

My life is flowing with blessings.  I'm completely captivated by my Jesus; fully surrendered and in love with Him.  I'm finally resting in my Father's love and acceptance.  I'm dating the guy I've always prayed for and we absolutely adore each other.  

It's the kindness of God that leads man to repentance.  [Romans 2:4]

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