blessings

This semester was rough.  Over the last couple days as I spend ample amount of time with the Lord, He has been showing me an overarching theme.  


Do not let your heart envy sinners.


This semester, I spent a lot of time envying sinners.  I spent too much time daydreaming of being rebellious.  I decided in my heart that Christianity wasn't very fun.  That following Jesus was hard work and not enjoyable.  I never stopped wanting to follow Jesus, but I just wanted to take a break from the whole idea of holiness and go crazy for a bit.  


I didn't really "go crazy," but I did sin.  I don't think I have it in me to "go crazy."  Christ is just too strong in me and I'm too submitted to His will, though I can trail away a bit.  I truly did spend the semester with my heart envying sinners.  


Then instead of my Papa smacking me into submission, He's gently covered me with sweet kisses.  How can I envy sinners when I have such a great Papa?!  


My heart has completely returned to Him, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords.  I am abundantly blessed and joyous.  What a beautiful picture of the Father's love.  I was running from Him.  Instead of Him throwing rocks at me to knock me on my face bleeding, crying out for help, He led a vibrant man of God into my life, to treat me like a princess and show me pure joy.  


My life is flowing with blessings.  I'm completely captivated by my Jesus; fully surrendered and in love with Him.  I'm finally resting in my Father's love and acceptance.  I'm dating the guy I've always prayed for and we absolutely adore each other.  


It's the kindness of God that leads man to repentance.  [Romans 2:4]

grace

Recently I've developed this idea in my head that I want to be rebellious.  It occurred to me that sin sounds fun.  So I started taking actions to be "rebellious."  Not anything too extreme, but non-the-less, rebellious.  


I started feeling very guilty about it, because I know I'm better than the things I was doing.  If for no other reason, it was unhealthy.  


I was talking to my good friend about the mistakes I had been making and how I wanted to sin, then almost out of no where, I said to him that my life is always going to be messy because I want nothing more than to be with the messed up.  I went on to list all of these things that my heart is crying out to do.  Then a few hours later I watched this incredible sermon another friend was teaching.  It rocked my world.  I'm not going to go in detail, I would rather just encourage you to watch it, but it talked about being a new creation.  The thing about this guy is that he makes his teaching practical and tells you how to live it.  He literally used a diagram and gives so many illustrations that it's almost impossible to not understand the message.  He literally talked about how sometimes Christians get the idea that it would be fun/enjoyable to sin.  Or how other Christians just feel like because they struggled with it before Christ, they always will struggle with it.  He explained the concept of becoming a new creation, then how to renew your mind.  To watch his video, click HERE.  To read an article of his on renewing your mind, click HERE.


His video really brought me full circle.  I saw that my mind was being deceived that I wanted to sin.  I remembered what I told my other friend about wanting to devote my life to messy people.  I realized my heart knows who I am.  That I am a new creation.  However my mind was trying to convince me that although I was a new creation, my actions still would reflect my old nature.  False.  My actions will reflect my new nature.  I just have to train my mind to remember who I am in Christ.  I am hidden in Him and I shall not forget again.  I have the Hebrew word "zakar" tattooed on my wrist, which means "to remember."  You'd think I would have gotten the hang of it by now...  


I'm thankful for grace.  


I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me, even when I hurt Him and run from Him.  


I'm thankful that I am a new creation with a heart of holiness.


Feel free to take a glimpse into my heart, into my Fathers heart...  


(I wrote this a few minutes ago into a message to my friend who preached the new creation sermon)

My heart just desires to be sitting on the dirt floors of brothels brushing the hair of a girl as she prepares herself for her night at "work," selling her body to numerous men, I want to be there, loving her out of her bondage and into the freedom that comes from knowing Jesus. I want to go into villages that have been cursed so that no baby will make it out of her mothers womb because girls are disposable, and I want to speak life over the women and tell them about a God who values them, a God who created them in His image. I want to touch lepers and see their rotted limbs turn new. I want to sing orphans to sleep and have them tell me about the dreams they have of this big Papa who dances with them in the moonlight.

A new outlook on life (:

 I know not too many people read this blog, so I feel okay posting this.  


I'm officially slowing down.  


I'm not graduating in May.  I'm not taking 18 credit hours ever again.  I'm not going to live for the future.  I'm not moving to Vegas.  


I'm going to be completely vulnerable with you here...  I was on the verge of needing to be admitted to a psych ward.  I cannot handle life as is anymore.  I'm far to overwhelmed and spiraling downward.  I cry waaaaay too much, far more than a normal person.  I've been feeling depressed.  I was believing lies.  


I saw that I was going down a path that led to death, not life.  A path that was hopeless.  Thank God I realized this before it was too late.  But I'll be honest, it took my best friend months of telling me to stop before I actually listened.  Seems like the best decisions I've made in life are things that I avoided for months, then once I actually went through with them, my life was forever changed.  


So I'm trusting that this is going to change my life for the better, just like in high school, after months of a friend persisting on my need to go to church with him, I finally went and Jesus captured my heart and I have never been the same.  


Now, I don't know what I'm doing.  I've decided to no longer live in expectation of what the future will hold.  I am not going to live for the next moment, for the next season, for the next year.  I am going to live in this beautiful moment that my Papa has given me.  I'm going to take every minute as a blessing.  


You know, the unknown is where I belong. What child rules the household and makes plans for the future? It's not the child that spends hours planning meals and scheduling playdates, etc. The kid just plays in his parent's house and his daddy feeds him and takes him places. The child doesn't stress out that he might not have food, he knows his dad will provide. I belong in the unknown. I was created to call him Abba, Father. He's my Daddy, not my husband, not my kid.


So here I am.  Completely free of the unrealistic standards that I've created for myself.  


I am loved.  I am His girl.  I'm in His lap.  I'm right where I belong. 

What is the role of a man in the fight against human trafficking?

I read this awesome blog by a radical guy named Matthew Snyder. Today he posted a blog proposing the question: What is the role of a man in the fight against human trafficking? I immediately started typing away, and before I knew it, I had typed almost two pages single spaced... So I decided instead of posting it as a comment on his blog, I would answer his question on my own blog.

I believe the only way to eradicate human trafficking is to end demand. So what is the role of the man in fighting human trafficking? Set a standard for other men, to NEVER look at porn. Start a movement of pure men who are above the sex industry. Pornography is the "gateway drug" into sex trafficking. If there there were no men willing to pay to have sex, there wouldn't be girls on the streets selling their bodies. People put blame on the girls for being whores and the pimps for being traffickers, but I think the blame needs to be shifted to the johns. Those sluts are coerced captives. Those pimps are business men who are just as screwed up as the girls. It's the johns who started innocently looking at porn while their wives were nursing the babies in the other room. Then they were hooked and it became an addiction. Shortly, the videos and pictures just weren't enough. Their wives weren't putting out enough and were just normal. They needed something more. It's the johns who need to sleep with a prostitute.

Men need to make higher standards. Men need to eradicate the pornography industry because it's a drug just as bad as cocaine. Men need to start loving their families more than themselves. Men need to stop talking to their buddies about sex and start talking about holding one another accountable to not look at porn. Every time porn is accessed it creates demand for more. That demand leads to demand for sex to be sold. That demand for selling sex leads to 11 year olds being coerced by some cool guy who is ten years older than her who actually treats her nice and tells her that he loves her. Then the next thing she knows, she's agreeing to run away from home and move to Vegas with her "boyfriend." Then he tells her they need cash to survive, so he needs her to have sex with one of his friends; that it would make him so happy. She is in love, so of course she will. Suddenly, she's 17, her name is now "Princess," she's bottom ho, and brings in $1,500 a night.

Despite all that, women also need to set a higher standard for themselves. Dressing sleazy will never be considered a good thing. Girls need to have confidence and self-worth. However a lot of that comes from having strong fathers and father-figures in their lives, something that is definitely lacking these days.  Men just need to step it up.

That answer is mainly for ending human trafficking in America, but honestly, I feel like it goes for the entire world. When I was walking through Kamathipura, one of the main redlight districts in Mumbai, this summer, I looked into the eyes of the men on the streets and experienced how they saw me as a piece of meat, nothing more. Most of the world views women as possessions. That's just the way it is. To be completely honest, it sucks. I know I'm not going to be received in much of the ministry that I want to do because I'm female. In fact, I feel like I can't actually move to India to start my life until I get married, so that when I go into a hostile village in North India, I will have a man with me to help us be received rather than immediately rejected for my sex and skin color. Personally, I need a man who is going to spend hours in prayer with me and for me every time I walk into a brothel and talk to the girls. I need a man who is so above reproach that I won't have to worry when he and I walk through the redlight districts past scantily dressed women. I pray always for my future husband that his thoughts would be so focused on heaven and things above that he can't even see the devils schemes to reel in his thought life, because his thoughts have already been purchased and they belong to Jesus Christ.

Honestly, our society needs a wake up call. Our world needs a Savior. We were put on this earth to be salt and light, and I'm afraid a lot of todays "Christians" have lost their saltiness. I pray that through groups of us "burning ones" would begin to set the world on fire with the love of Jesus. We are called to be ministers of reconciliation, so let's get to it. There is a world in need. It's time to stand up for the cause of the poor and needy. Today is the day to speak up for the voiceless.

big news, lots of homework, and a great God

This is probably the fourth or fifth time that I've sat down and starting tapping away at a blog post... yet I haven't posted any. Why do you ask? I don't even have time to breathe. Quite literally, I probably need to be working on my breathing more because my asthma is acting up so badly, but I don't have time. It's sort of like every week is finals week; not because of the exams, but because of the amount of time I spend studying. Allow me to update you on my life.

I'm graduating a year early after all. I'm officially a senior at Liberty University. I won't be able to walk in May because I'll have two classes and my internship to complete over the summer, but I will have my bachelor's degree by August. You might ask, so Casey, after you graduate, what are your plans? Well this is my big news. Big, big, BIG news.

I planting a church with a group of incredible people in … wait for it … LAS VEGAS !

Say WHAT, Casey ?!?

Yep, in 8-9 months, I'm packing up my life and moving 2,000 miles across the country into the desert lands of Sin City. This is my first public announcement. Thus far, only close friends and family know my big plans.

Our church planting team is comprised of some of the greatest people I know. A professor of mine from freshman year, who happens to be my best friend's dad, is going to be the lead pastor. I am so blessed and excited to be serving on a team with such godly men and women. You can check out Dr. Earley's blog by clicking here. Our church is going to be called Grace City Church.

I'll let you explore Grace City Church's website, but here's a taste of our heartbeat for this church:

Grace City is a church that is committed to doing very hard things In really tough places so God gets all the glory. 

Grace City Church is a life-giving faith community devoted to Jesus through absolute obedience to everything He commanded. 

We strive to live extra-ordinary lives of prayer, discipleship, disciple-making, worship, the Word of God, evangelism, and love. 

We want to be a house of prayer for all nations that exhales disciples who will take the gospel all over the world or die trying. 

In May of 2012, we will be moving to downtown Las Vegas, Nevada a few blocks from the Las Vegas Strip and across the street from UNLV.

I'm excited and blessed and I hope you are too. This is going to be a crazy adventure I go on. I'm currently looking for a health promotion internship in Vegas for the summer and ideally I'll be able to find a real job to start in August in my field of study. I think it would be incredible to work for a health department or a non-profit, creating programs and awareness campaigns for various issues in the health field. I plan on staying in Vegas for as long as I feel the Lord leading and then move to India. Living in India is my long-term goal.

As for the present, I just got prescribed to use a nebulizer twice daily for my asthma. I had to stop doing one of the ministries that I've been involved in for the last couple years because I am so overwhelmed with school. I'm taking 18 hours and I work about 19 hours a week and I have SO MUCH homework. I adore my classes and am learning more than I have ever learned in school, but they are time consuming.

Despite the rough season of chaos that I'm dwelling in, Jesus is remaining so faithful. He has really just put the most incredible people in my life to wrap their arms around me when I fall to the ground and don't think I can make it another day. Also the Lord has truly given me the strength to walk out my saintly identity that I have found in Him. I can honestly say that I love myself and am beautiful, which is a HUGE step for me. I find myself desperately seeking time with the Lord. Jude 20-21 say: “But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life.” In moments of fear and defeat where my faith starts to waiver, the Lord stirs me to pray in the Holy Spirit and that is what has kept me going these last 5 weeks, since school began. I am so thankful to the Lord for His reminders and freedom and healing that He brings.


Here is a video I made testifying about the freedom Jesus has given me.

On another note, two years ago today, I received a full deliverance from the Lord and my life was turned upside-down. I praise Him for the work that He has done in me over the last two years. I'm definitely a different person and I know many people who can vouch for that. Thank You Lord.

I now need to go study, but I'm eager to hear everyone's responses to my public announcement about moving to Vegas. Looking forward to hearing from you!

birthday vlog

Here is the video blog that I made on my birthday.  I never got internet that was good enough to upload a video, so now that I'm in America, I figured I'd let everyone in on the crazy video blogs that I made and the written blogs that I was unable to post. 

ten, do, ek, SMILE !

Here are links to the albums of my photos from India, ENJOY!

Team 1 (my first two weeks in India)

Trisha and I’s adventures (my third week in India)

Team 2 (my fourth and fifth weeks in India)