Week Three: Essential Oils & Herbs VS. Antidepressants

Week three has been quite the doozy. 9 days off zoloft and the antidepressant discontinuation syndrome is in full swing.  The vertigo is so bad I'm constantly tipping over and tend to fall back down when I stand up to fast.  Brain zaps are still driving me crazy.  I've also had a lot of random waves of extreme nausea.  It comes on out of no where and I've been having it happen most nights and at least a few times during the day.  I wonder if morning sickness is anything like this??  If it is, yuck!  I'm thankful for tums and ginger ale.  Hopefully all these physical side effects of getting off zoloft will be over soon.  

I'm thinking about adding some additional oils to me regime.  My depression has been okay, but I did have a panic attack this weekend.  Kevin made me do a little yoga and calmed me down.  If I could get caught up on all of my orders for the business, I'd like to try to start doing yoga and exercise on a regular basis.  I'm going to order doterra's Balance "grounding blend" and possibly geranium and bergamot. I'm also thinking about getting a diffuser.  

I'm really happy to be on this journey towards natural health. I'd totally appreciate any prayers for continued healing.  I'm so thankful for all the support that I have in my life.  I had no idea how beautiful of a support system I have.  Praise God!

Week Two: Essential Oils & Herbs VS. Antidepressants

Hey y'all! I've been using essential oils & herbal supplements for 14 days now!  Things have been going decently well.  Life is sort of stressful at the moment, so that doesn't help.  Crafting by Knight is going very well, so well in fact that I can hardly keep up.  And Kevin and I just have a lot to pray about our future, and that has been weighing pretty heavily on me.

This week I got little roller bottles and defractionated coconut oil to mix in the roller bottles with my oils.  It is a ton easier to regularly apply oil on my back and feet when I can just roll it on.  

The only consistently odd thing that I've been experiencing this week is being hot when I logically should be cold. I'll go to sleep with all the blankets and sheets thrown off of me and still wake up sweaty and heated.  Kevin says my body has been crazy hot when he gets home in the middle of the night too.  It doesn't just happen at night either, I was driving around in 36 degree weather with the window down and my sleeves rolled up.  I finally bought a thermometer.  I've been waking up with a lower than usual body temperature even though I feel super hot.  Fortunately, it's not really a big deal and I think it will go away in time.

Thursday I took my last 50mg of Zoloft.  Now that 2 days have gone by without it, I've started having some side effects tonight...  In November 2012, I switched from Lexapro to Zoloft.  Both are very addictive SSRIs.  Weaning off Lexapro was awful because I got these things that people in the antidepressant community call "brain zaps."  They are common in antidepressant discontinuation syndrome, particularly in lexapro and zoloft.  

Brain zaps are basically what they sound like.  It's like an electrical shock shoots through your head causing dizziness, blurred vision, pain, and fatigue for a few seconds.  It so far is only happening when I walk around, but it happens every few seconds while I'm standing.  When I sit or lay down it seems fine.  If I recall, when withdrawing from lexapro, it got to where it happened while sitting and lying down also, but only lasted a week or two.  So I'm on day 2 of withdrawal I suppose.  I'm going to try taking extra GABA plus because it supports brain function and see if it helps at all.  

Week 3 here I come!

Week One: Essential Oils & Herbs VS. Antidepressants

A little background: I've been taking antidepressants on and off for close to ten years.  Now that my sweet hubby and I will be wanting to start having babies in the next couple years, I really want to get off of them.  I need to find a way to manage my depression and anxiety without harsh chemicals.  There is nothing wrong with antidepressants and I am so very thankful for all that they have helped me over the years.  I just don't want anything that could be possibly harmful for my future baby.  And I'm very intrigued by natural remedies.  I want to get to know my body better before I grow a human.  :P 

Medicines I've been taking for a year(ish):

Zoloft 100mg daily

Welbutrin 150mg daily

New herbal/oil regimen:

Serenity (Calming blend) essential oil

Elevation (Joyful blend) essential oil

Lavender essential oil

Natures Sunshine Mood Elevator TMC Concentrated 

Natures Sunshine 5-HTP Power

Natures Sunshine GABA Plus

Natures Sunshine Prenatal Vitamin

A generic probiotic

For the last 10 days, I've halved my zoloft and taken the same amount of welbutrin at usual.

For the last 7 days, I've been taking 1 mood elevator, and 2-3 HTP, GABA, probiotic, and prenatal each day.  Elevation I put on my heart, Serenity on my wrists and big toe, and Lavender on my spine and big toe.  I am trying to put the oils on every 4 hours, but I haven't been very disciplined about reapplying the oils to my feet and spine throughout the day.  I've ordered some roller bottles and coconut oil to hopefully help me reapply the oils throughout the day.  

I also am trying to memorize Psalm 23.  I read it this week and felt like it should be the scripture I cling to during this time of weaning off pills and finding out how my body responds to this new all natural regime.  I also plan to change my diet to more whole, natural foods, and cut out a lot of sugar... but as diet has always been a major struggle for me, I'm going to let this process take time.  Anyways, my first week went pretty well, and I'm excited to continue on in this journey!  

Here is Psalm 23!

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]
3     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness[b]
    for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c]
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord
    forever.

my beautiful craft room

I'm trying to use this blog more often, so I'm transferring some of my posts from my crafting blog over to dirty, ripped dresses.

Crafting by Knight opened on the world wide web two years and three apartments ago.  I am finally in my ideal apartment and have built my dream office!  Seriously though, isn't it drool-worthy?  It's taken me a couple months to get everything exactly how I want it, but I'm totally in love.  I spend about 8 hours a day in that chair and am so thrilled for it to be complete.  Every item has a place and I have a wonderful inventory of materials and products.  

My gallery wall is my favorite part of the room.  As you can see, there are some pictures of Kevin and I, my bestie Grace, and some past bouquets.  I've printed several free printables I found on Pinterest and others that I purchased.  The "I craft therefore I have no thumbprints" is actually a cross-stitch that I did myself.  

Look for great printables here, here, and here.

I have a cute little dry erase list where I put my clients names and when their order has to be shipped by.  It's a great feeling to cross names off the list, but an even better feeling to add them! 

Michaels has really helped me get my act together when it comes to storage and organization. Pretty much all of my shelves have come from Michaels. 

It comes in handy to reuse wedding decorations to decorate your office when you own a wedding bouquet business.  

My cube shelving system has made my life so much better!  I now have bins for each of the weddings that I'm working on at the moment.  As you can see, I also have tons of boxes that have various purposes, such as dies, comic books, excess burlap, etc.

Right in my reach, I always keep multiple pairs of scissors, wires, hole punches, and other tools.  Hot glue sticks are hidden away in that adorable little rose tin.

Thanks for touring my office!  I hope you like it as much as I do!  :)

she reads truth

I'm extremely excited to be reading through the bible this year with thousands of women on the she reads truth app.  Yesterday I read through John 4, the story known more commonly as the "woman at the well."  I got a calligraphy set for Christmas and have been trying to learn some creative lettering.  I also just realized that I miss drawing and painting.  I decided that doodling may help me in this study of the bible this year.  Here is my first doodle inspired by Jesus telling the woman at the well that the water she draws up from the well will leave her thirsty, but the living water that He gives is "a spring of water welling up to eternal life." 

new

For the last week or so, I've been working on this plan to really start blogging for Crafting by Knight.  I bought a domain/website and spent a long time making it beautiful with the plan of not only having it to help my brides figure out the flowers they want and be able to look at bouquets easier than on Etsy, but also to have a blog.  Yesterday I listened to 4 hours of podcasts about blogging, specifically blogging for makers who have etsy shops and want to get more traffic through the blog.  The podcast made it clear that you have to be passionate about what you're blogging about if you want to have a successful blog.  I'm passionate about crafting and about my bouquets, but I can't just blog about my products. And I have several tutorials of crafts that Kevin and I made for christmas that I've been dying to blog about...  But I realized the people I sell bouquets to are generally not people who want to learn DIY stuff.  And I don't want to encourage them to DIY their wedding and not buy my bouquets.  All that to say, I've decided that I'm going to hang here with dirty, ripped dresses.  My new www.craftingbyknight.com is an amazing site and may one day have some sort of blog, but for now, I'm jumping back into this blog.  

Two-thousand and fourteen was a very odd year for us.  Kevin got promoted.  We made a move to a new city.  We got out of debt.  We went practically a year with no local friends.  I cooked a big thanksgiving dinner pretty much all by myself.  Crafting by Knight grew a significant amount more than the previous year.  We learned a lot about grace.  

I couldn't be more excited about two-thousand and fifteen.  

when satan hides my tennis shoes & key card

It has been 20 days since I started my healthy eating plan/life change.  It's been rough to depend on God and not on food, but God has given me the strength to stand strong and not give into my cravings.  I have not, however, started exercising.  I have lost 9 lbs and possibly an inch or so, but haven't yet been motivated enough to go to the gym.  Last night I talked to my health mentor about how I really really really want to exercise and how I know I'll feel so much better and just have an improved life, but I just haven't been able to force myself to take the first step.  She pretty much told me that it was okay because I am determined, so she knows I'll work up the courage to just do it.  

When I woke up this morning, I told myself this was the day.  Today I will exercise.  Today I will stop making excuses and take that first step.  

I told my husband and put on my workout clothes.  I told him bye as he left for work and went to put on my tennis shoes.  I searched...

and searched...

and searched...

and searched...

and my tennis shoes were no where to be found.  I decided that satan was trying to give me an excuse not to exercise but I said NO.  I am going to exercise!  So I put on some other shoes that aren't really suitable to workout in, but who cares, I need to take this first step.  I made up a water bottle, got my iphone and headphones, then went to get the keys that holds the keycard to my apartment buildings gym.  My husband and I only have one car.  He took my set of keys with him when he left with the car.  It's okay though because his keys also have the gym keycard on them.  So I went to the places where he usually sets down his keys.   I searched...

and searched...

and searched...

and searched...

and his keys were no where to be found.  You've got to be kidding me!  On the day I decide I will be strong and workout, my tennis shoes and my keycard to the gym is missing!  If I wasn't so determined, I would have just let satan win.  But I was angry at him.  How dare he hide my shoes and keys!  The nerve of him!  My God is way more powerful than satan, so I told him so.  And I turned on the wii and did part of a Denise Austin workout video wearing socks in my living room.  Sure it wasn't the elliptical or weight lifting, but the warm up was enough to take my breath away and raise my heart rate.   Today I exercised.  It was only for like 15 minutes, but that was 15 minutes more than I've done in the last few months.  And now that I've taken this first step, albeit a tiny one, I will go to the gym tomorrow wearing tennis shoes (even if I have to buy a new pair) and climb on that elliptical.  I may only be able to make it 15 or 20 minutes, but the fact that I'm on it makes me feel better.  It gives me peace in my heart.  Peace that only comes from my Father.  I've only been consistent with exercise once in the last year and during those few weeks, I felt peace and happiness and confidence.  I want that again.  His mercies are new every morning.  Today satan tried to defeat me, but my Lord empowered me.  Tomorrow His mercies will be new again and I will be prepared to punch satan in the face.